I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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