i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
