he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
