Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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