Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
