i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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