sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
