Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ttyl tear gas
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
