girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
