so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
