just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
