Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
should my penis look like a turkey
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
