But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
