Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
