Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
