What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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