Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
