I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
