If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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