i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
