S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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