yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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