No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
