Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
