Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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