I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
