i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Vodka?
Forever.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
