Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
