Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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