thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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