I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
