normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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