her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
