I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
