She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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