just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
