I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
