she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
