he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
