How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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