I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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