He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
