I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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