What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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