you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
