My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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