I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
