What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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