The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
