hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
