And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
