brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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