I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
