I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
