This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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