I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
